Today has been a good day overall and it’s days like today that I cherish. Even when the world seems to be crumbling around me, I can find moments of peace to reflect. This has been what I needed, although it’s hard to not be free. This second stay at “Hotel California” has helped tremendously. But freedom is within the mind and soul, not where the physical body is.
Sitting here looking at Mount Nebo in Utah, I think about when I summited that peak. You know that climb is analogous to life. All the slips, trips and falls along the way, the blood, sweat and tears, are difficult to bear. But, once we’re at the top of the peak, the trial, the tribulation seems minuscule. Just a little convenience. We can pause for a moment…While being able to encapsulate the experience and reflect, I can say I can do hard things. The “climb” is also mental. It takes a certain mental “toughness,” a conditioning on the mind, to not give up. EVER!!! Not that you can condition your mind for such things but rather, after 30 years of this to varying degrees, I know what to expect. More recently when I wanted to give up, I had to dig deep and use my resources and tools to keep going.
Mental illness for me is akin to climbing to the summit, doesn’t matter how high. As much as I may beat myself up, feel shame and go through the depression, I can’t give up. Every time I get to the point of no return I tap into the mental reserves and find myself in a “new day,” a new moment. Tapping into my reserves means I use the skills and resources I’ve learned along the way to help me get to the top. As part of my DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) I’ve learned to use skills such as breathing techniques, positive self-talk and my favorite, the diver’s response which uses a cold medium such as ice or cold showers to shock the system closer to homeostasis. When available or convenient this method provides me with the quickest immediate relief.
I pray that through your own journey, you’re able to conquer your personal demons and find solace on your personal trek to the mountain peak.
#There is help, there is hope
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