P eople have toolboxes for different tasks. Electricians, Carpenters, and Mechanics, to name a few. Their tools allow them to perform very specific tasks that generally cannot be used for anything else. Meters to measure electricity, hammers for driving nails, or wrenches for nuts and bolts. All different tools for specific purposes, but what do you use for Mental Health? You wouldn’t use any of these tools to treat symptoms of Mental Illness. There’s a toolbox for Mental Hea

W hat my body and mind are going through is really “weird”, intense, and exhausting to say the least. Really, really exhausting. I’ve had serious withdrawals from alcohol in the past, and that’s just as TERRIBLE!!! But this is different. Completely different, it’s more psychological in nature, and how the body moves and flows naturally, it doesn’t work. I walk like I’m drinking, looking at the wall, and walk right into it. My brain says go this way, but there’s a disconnect,

I ’ve carried the weight of CPTSD, Bipolar II depression, borderline‑style reactivity, and alcohol use disorder across this entire stretch of my life. My days swing from energized optimism to crushing despair, and my journal documents every rise and fall—moments of resilience and moments when survival feels unsure. This has been the past two years: L iving Inside These Diagnoses My Bipolar II brings cycles—hypomanic bursts of energy where I overspend, overindulge, and believe

It’s been about two months since my last series of blog posts chronicling my mindset from 2005. A dark period of my life trying to...

1-27-2005 Today is yet again another day in the slow demise of my life. I feel as if – as the stars are born and then perish – I am...

Written 1-26-2005 It has been over a week since my last entry. Tonight, my mind, body & soul have been inundated with the spirits of free...

1-16-2005 Hope Springs Eternal – the golden dove elusive – my island “of the day before” is not my island of today. I awake basking in...

This was written in 2005 and chronicles my mindset at that time. It's graphic in nature... Melancholia is a ludicrously kind-sounding...

Over the course of the last year, I’ve been in DBT therapy through the VA. This program is intensive in that I’ve attended two sessions a...

So, today’s the big day I guess, half a century on this earth. Damn, what a journey it’s been. Traveling through hell and back is not my...

Today was a different kind of day, at least different from the past year and a half. I woke up with energy. An energy that was strangely...

As I sit back and reflect on my life…I’ve never been as grateful and thankful as I am today. Two months after selling my house I finally...

I woke up this morning, opened the blinds and embraced the warm sunshine. I had this feeling I haven’t felt in a long, long time. But it...

"TRIGGER WARNING" As I’m sitting in the park, I’m thinking about how the days are getting harder and harder to keep my head above water....

Mount. Timpanogos, Utah Today I was part of an event that made me think about the relationships and comradery that are essential to...

Three days in the wilderness…That’s what I call a “Staycation.” A tent in my backyard involves stakes 70 miles long. Because that’s how...

Today has been a good day overall and it’s days like today that I cherish. Even when the world seems to be crumbling around me, I can...

Alone!!! Here I am again in the hospital. How many times must I come back to this place. “Normal” people don’t typically frequent...

You know, one of the roadblocks I face is loneliness. Now some might think how is that relevant to mental health. It’s a valid question,...

Scared, nervous and anticipating the unknown. What am I in for? What am I going to experience? Most importantly, how am I going to be...