Scared and lonely. Sitting in my head again and wondering why, God why, must I be in the hospital psych unit again. The short answer is they are gonna keep my ass alive…at least for now. Once I leave it’s up to me to utilize my support system and my knowledge to lead a happy life.
This diseases of mental illness with all it’s mystery and illusions of confusion, is actually manageable. I’m not saying it’s easy by any means, but manageable. Right now, with a whirlwind engulfing my “space” it’s particularly difficult to manage. However, not impossible. By the time you read this I’ll be out of the hospital. This is when the real work will begin. The thoughts of SI circling my mind like birds in the air are impossible to ignore. The pain is so real.
Let's switch gears a bit... I'm starting a new treatment with KETAMINE. April 1st I’m going to start the treatments to help establish new neuropathways in my brain. To hopefully reestablish the pathways that are leading to the "thoughts." In effect, rewiring my brain to help quell the symptoms of CPTSD, MST and others. Follow along on this journey, I don't know what it's going to entail, but hopefully my experience will help save a life.
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