As I sit back and reflect on my life…I’ve never been as grateful and thankful as I am today. Two months after selling my house I finally found a place I can call my own. Home recently has been a combination of extended stay hotels and the woods.
What frustrates me is the fact that there are no viable resources for Disabled Veterans. And this is all over the country. I don’t understand why we don’t reprioritize our homeless veterans so we can be taken more seriously in our shared housing crisis among other issues. Sure, the VA has resources, but you have to live in proximity to the local hospital. If you’re further out, say in a rural area, you’re on your own. At least that’s been my experience. But I know there are others who are experiencing the same dilemma.
Fortunately for me is the fact I had the capability to sleep in the forest for two weeks. I say sleep because sleep is out of necessity, camping is for relaxation and just to get away. An opportunity to bond with friends and family. I did however, bond with nature. Nature would bring me closer to myself but, “myself,” having hopeful, joyful and ambitious aspirations, has Complex-PTSD. So, the so-called good times “camping” actually fueled the fire of SI. The deepest depression I’ve ever felt, alone and on the verge of permanently living in the woods, or worse.
What allows me to be so grateful today is knowing that the past is the past. I can survive hard things, fuck there hard but, I can breathe now knowing the light at the end of the tunnel is behind me now, but the path continues...
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