What a day!!!
And I don’t mean that in a good way.
The dirty little secret about PTSD is you don't always know what's going to trigger you. Wtf, today I found myself in a scenario where anger and rage would have normally taken over. But instead, my whole body just trembled for hours. This was accompanied by a severe depressive episode. However, there was no SI associated which is not typical but I’m grateful it didn't manifest; these bouts with SI are so hard and difficult. When all you want to do is die and these persuasive thoughts taunt you, you just want the pain in your head to go away. But this is no ordinary pain because it's not physical... You can't feel it but at the same time you can, when I find myself in a moment of distress, panic, anger or any other unhealthy or unwanted behavior, I use some skills to reduce the suffering. Focusing on my breathing helps me to calm down and to refocus my thoughts and recenter.
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